Monday, August 26, 2013

Heavenly thinking...

I find that I rarely think about heaven or what my position in heaven will be. I tend to think about this life only...and I hardly think about the great gift heaven is to those who are promised to get it. When I do think about heaven, though, I think about the people who may not get to go there; often wondering if my loved ones will make it and it scares me. I think that negative association kind of makes me subconsciously not think about it as much as I would love to; also the fact that this world constantly points towards thinking about our own selves and our own wants. I talked to God today about how amazing heaven must really be; that if He is creative enough to create a world as beautiful as this and through man He built mansions, to think of the mansions He built Himself for us to live in (John 14:1-2). I mean, actual mansions, built by the hands of God. If mansions that man have built, the man made in His image, are gorgeous, then I can't fathom the work God has done.

Lately I have been thinking about the importance of God in my life and how, in a way, my love for Him can be quite selfish and how I wish it weren't this way. I wish that I loved Him purely for who He is and not for what He could give me. I sometimes think I am motivated by the wrong things. Although, I'm sure He is aware of this. I do hope He knows that I try...I try to love Him for who He is. Because of this, and small other things, it's been a struggle to delight in Him...but I do try.

Staying away from the internet, intentionally, has been helpful to me. I think God, all along, has been trying to break me from the bad habit of being on the internet all day.

I spent the night at my friend's place; it was hard for me to function the next day because her sister was sick, she still wanted to go to work, I have a car, she doesn't, so I felt obligated to offer her a ride to work. Well, off we went and I literally spent zero time with God. It was a rush, rush to her job in Los Angeles traffic which I inherently hate. Los Angeles traffic would make a saint curse! Lol. (Thank you Haddie! Love Thy Neighbor) Thankfully, I didn't curse, but I was angry a few times and I felt drained. I felt so drained. I knew i needed time reading the Word, praying, or something.

Anyway, there haven't been any great & overwhelming revelations lately. I somewhat forced this blog. Aside from God solidifying His intent on getting me away from the internet while I was at Sunday service, there is nothing else I've been urged to write about. This post is a little focus-less...hah, for lack of a better word.

What I'm currently reading on the daily*:

(Random smaller books in the new testament)

*trying to completely read...some days I don't read everything

God bless


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