Wednesday, January 23, 2013

What is coming next?

As I sit here and write up this entry, I ask myself, what does God have next for me? What is He planning? So much has happened since my last post to now and some of it has been good and even a bit disappointing. Despite the details, God is really using this time to change me, like He has used all other "times" in my life.

I had a bible study with my friend and we studied the first miracle of Jesus; He turned water into wine. The main concepts of this story is that Jesus acts only when it will glorify the Father; that there was a problem and His mother went straight to Jesus to solve it; Jesus told her the time isn't right yet and He acted based on the right time of glorifying the Father; and Jesus told the servants what to do; what He told them to do seemed crazy and difficult and could have potentially ended their lives, they listened to Him precisely anyway and everything was blessed.

This story was so empowering. We studied this and it reminded me that whenever I have a problem or an issue, I need to go to Jesus about it first. No one else. Whenever I want something done right away I need to think about Jesus and the fact that He will answer my petitions in the right time, when God is glorified. I also need to obey the commands of Christ even when things seem hard or difficult.

John 2:1-11

I was so inspired by the bible study and enjoyed being reminded of how we have to go to Him at any time for any problem and to wait on His timing even when difficult and to obey even when difficult or things seem crazy. I want so much to walk the path God has set for me. I want so badly to shed myself of my insecurities with my thoughts of what people think, or that people don't like me, or that if I choose a certain way people will think I'm uptight, or that I will even mess up by taking pride in the choices I make, or become confident in my own abilities.

I'm afraid of all the mistakes I'm going to make, but I can only hope that God can just work it all out to the best and that along the way He is being glorified and my dreams of loving Him, of falling in love and being married, and using our marriage to bring glory to God through helping and loving others can come true.

Those are my dreams, people. I don't want to be famous. I don't want to write a thousand books. I don't want a big house with a butler.

I want to glorify God's name.
I want to fall in love and have a romantic marriage with the one God has chosen.
I want to use that relationship to bring glory to the Father and love and help others or any other ways God can be glorified.
I want to raise a godly son & make an impact on future generations.

All I hope in these coming weeks is that God prepares me for these dreams He has put in me and cultivated within me over time. That is my true hope and my true passion. To love the Lord and have these things come to pass in my life.

I hope my time of waiting for these things to happen are not passive but are grounds for preparation and loving the Lord and loving others as I keep learning and making mistakes and as I try to help others along the way to get into preparation mode for the deep longings they have inside of their hearts. Longings I hope God cultivates until they fit within His perfect & good will.

This was on my heart. I hope that it is encouraging.

On the third day a wedding took place at Cana in Galilee. Jesus’ mother was there, and Jesus and his disciples had also been invited to the wedding. When the wine was gone, Jesus’ mother said to him, “They have no more wine.”
“Woman, why do you involve me?” Jesus replied. “My hour has not yet come.”
His mother said to the servants, “Do whatever he tells you.”
Nearby stood six stone water jars, the kind used by the Jews for ceremonial washing, each holding from twenty to thirty gallons.
Jesus said to the servants, “Fill the jars with water”; so they filled them to the brim.
Then he told them, “Now draw some out and take it to the master of the banquet.”
They did so, and the master of the banquet tasted the water that had been turned into wine. He did not realize where it had come from, though the servants who had drawn the water knew. Then he called the bridegroom aside 10 and said, “Everyone brings out the choice wine first and then the cheaper wine after the guests have had too much to drink; but you have saved the best till now.”
11 What Jesus did here in Cana of Galilee was the first of the signs through which he revealed his glory; and his disciples believed in him.

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